I’m very excited to welcome Jennifer Estep and her llama drama to Fiction Vixen today. You know we love the llama here. 
Greetings and salutations! I want to say thanks to Sophia for having me on the blog today. Thanks, Sophia!
Sophia talks about llamas a lot here on her blog, so today I’d thought I’d share a llama story of my own.
I used to be a features writer for a daily newspaper. Basically, I got to go talk to people art exhibits and concerts and charity drives and things like that – generally, the lighter side of life. One day, the features editor assigned me to go out and talk to these people who raised llamas and used them in a ministry. This was several years ago, but I believe they took the llamas to nursing homes to brighten the residents’ day, used them in petting zoos, and things like that.
It sounded like a cute story, so the photographer and I go out to the field where the llamas are kept. The llamas seem nice enough, running around in the distance, and I’m sitting there interviewing one of the owners when a llama sidles over to me – and then spits in my hair.
Yes, you read that right. Here I am, trying to be a professional journalist, with llama spit in my hair and the llama who put it there standing around and grinning at me. Needless to say, it wasn’t one of my favorite assignments, and I haven’t much cared for llamas ever since. LOL.
And it wasn’t just the spitting llama. For a while, it seemed like I was the unofficial pet reporter at the newspaper. I got assigned all the stories involving animals – and they all just seemed to go wrong. Like the time I had to talk to some folks who raised rabbits for an Easter story – during a particularly rainy, muddy day. Or another time when I went out to a petting zoo, and it decided to rain buckets that day too. There’s nothing like wading through an inch of mud in your good work clothes and shoes and then having to go back to the office sopping wet and work the rest of the day.
So there you have it. My llama story and not-so-glamorous life as a former journalist. Believe me when I tell you that writing books is much better – and not nearly as messy. 
What about you guys? Have you had any run-ins with animals? Ever had a llama spit in your hair? Share in the comments.
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Jennifer writes the Elemental Assassin urban fantasy series for Pocket Books. The books focus on Gin Blanco, an assassin codenamed the Spider who can control the elements of Ice and Stone. When she’s not busy killing people and righting wrongs, Gin runs a barbecue restaurant called the Pork Pit in the fictional Southern metropolis of Ashland. The city is also home to giants, dwarves, vampires, and elementals – Air, Fire, Ice, and Stone.
Books in the series are Spider’s Bite, Web of Lies, and Venom. Tangled Threads, the fourth book, was published on April 26, while Spider’s Revenge, the fifth book, will be released in October.
Jennifer also writes the Mythos Academy young adult urban fantasy series for Kensington. The books focus on Gwen Frost, a 17-year-old Gypsy girl who has the gift of psychometry, or the ability to know an object’s history just by touching it. After a serious freak-out with her magic, Gwen is shipped off to Mythos Academy, a school for the descendants of ancient warriors like Spartans, Valkyries, Amazons, and more.
The first book, Touch of Frost, will be out in August, while the second book, Kiss of Frost, will hit shelves in December. First Frost, a prequel e-short story to the series, will be out in July. Visit www.jenniferestep.com for excerpts and more.
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Jennifer would like to give away a copy of Tangled Threads to one lucky commenter! To enter answer Jennifer’s question from above:
“What about you guys? Have you had any run-ins with animals? Ever had a llama spit in your hair? Share in the comments.”
Open until May 16, winner announced soon after. US and Canada only.
About Sophia (FV)
I had a wild turkey attack my Jeep one morning on the way to church. He came right up to us and began pecking away at my side view mirror. When I rolled the window down to yell at him he tried to peck me. I forgot all my love for animals and hit the gas. He was on the side of the Jeep and wasn’t harmed in any way.
vsloboda(at)gmail(dot)com
The whole llama thing with me started at a petting zoo where a llama did very inappropriate things to me right in front of everyone. My children still laugh at me to this day. Damn llama!!
Viki — That’s too funny! I haven’t had any incidents with birds … yet …
Sophia — Don’t feel bad. My significant other still talks about the llama spitting in my hair. LOL.
I’ve had lots of animal run-ins, from pigeons getting caught in my hair to shoe-stealing wild monkeys humping my legs. But this one is the worst. I’m cringing just typing this, but here goes:
I took some visiting friends to the Bristol Zoo when I was living in the UK a few years ago. Right before the exit, the zoo has a little wooden-fenced area with a capybara and a tapir. We were relaxing against the fence when the tapir backs up toward me. And then jizzes all over my bare legs. Gobs and gobs everywhere. It was disgusting and dozens of people witnessed said event.
Fortunately, I also discovered Pimms and Lemonade that day and got good and drunk enough on a patio to temporarily drown out the memory.
Love the books, can’t wait to read Tangled Threads!
sarace (at) gmail (dot) com
Pseudonym — Ugh, that is disgusting! I would have been so embarrassed and mortified and humiliated. Glad you are enjoying the books, though!
I was a llama’s mama for a short time. I used to do volunteer work at the local zoo and usually worked in the petting zoo. We had llamas in an enclosure big enough for them to escape the crowds when the kids got to be too much. One young llama used to rush the fence, put his head on my shoulder and hum (yes, llamas hum) when I walked past. It was like he was saying, “Please save me from all these people!”
Riva — That’s cool that you volunteered at your local zoo. I always thought that it would be fun and rewarding to do something like that.
We have had a variety of animals and I have been pecked by chickens and scratched by rabbits. You never know what will happen when you are around animals.
Have never seen a llama close up.
A neighbors goose got in my VW Beetle and it took two hours to get it out—-they bite!
What a fun blog post, Jennifer. Had a run-in with a wild turkey and a wild pig on a bike ride once. The turkey refused to move, and kept pecking at the bike tires. Now the pig scared me to death, those little suckers are viscous, and I just turned around and headed for home, lol.
caity_mack at yahoo dot com
I have had so many run ins with animals, when I was young. I was once playing in a field, and something spooked the heard of cows in it. They headed right towards me, but my aunt’s dog saved my life by heading them off.
I once stepped barefoot on a water moccasin. Thankfully, it was as scared as I was, and we each went our own ways.
I once reached down and petted a wild mink. I was young, and didn’t know any better.
I have had alot of dealings with animals.
twoofakind12@yahoo.com
Crystal — That’s true. Anything can happen with animals.
Estella — I’ve never had a problem with geese before, but I can imagine how frustrating that must have been.
Cathy — Thanks! Glad you liked it. It seems like turkeys are more vicious than I imagined judging from the comments here today. LOL.
Debbie — The snake would have creeped me out. But it’s awesome that the dog was able to save you like that.
I have never had any runins with animals. I love animals. Please enter me in contest. I would love to read your book. Tore923@aol.com
@Victoria Zumbrum: We need to get you to a petting zoo or something. You haven’t lived until a llama comes after you!
No llama spit to report, but we do have a resident ferret in our home because my hubby doesn’t like cats. Go figure. It was easier for him to accept a ferret in the family. (Thank goodness we agreed on a dog!)
Love your books, Jennifer. Thanks for visiting and thanks for the giveaway.
My husband and I were trekking in Thailand and on one section we rode elephants on steep hilly terrain. There are no seat belts on those things and I remember gripping onto the chair and praying that I wouldn’t be tumbling over some ledge somewhere.
I’m sorry to say that no, I haven’t had a llama spit at me. I don’t have too many animal stories as I’m allergic to basically everything. I have a weird one from my childhood though. I was home from school sick on day and trying to play with my gerbil in it’s rolling ball. My mother had threatened to set out mouse traps if it got loose so I was being very careful. Suddenly it got loose and I grabbed it’s tail to stop it. Not a happy moment as it came off in my hand! Well the skin did. The cartilage of the tail was still there. Later on it eventually fell off.
rootml1 AT hotmail DOT com
Victoria — Cool. Hope you get a chance to check out the books.
LSUReader — Thanks! Glad you liked the interview. I’m a dog person myself.
Little Lamb Lost — That sounds like it would be really cool to do, although I’d worry about the same thing. LOL. I imagine the ground would seem very far away.
Meggerfly — Ew! That would have creeped me out too. I don’t think I would have wanted to play with the gerbil after that.
@Little Lamb Lost: What? Elephants with no seat belts? That’s insane! LOL.
I always think the mule rides down the grand canyon are crazy. What if your animal trips and falls? Or just doesn’t like you and decides the ride ends here? lol
A few years back (ok, it was more than a few) I was at school and a pigeon went to the bathroom and it landed in my hair. After my friends finally stopped laughing they helped me clean it out.
I’ve never had a llama spit in my hair but i do have a bunny, 3 cats, a dog, and a bird at home that drive me crazy! But in all truth i could not live without them. If only i could get my bunny to stop chewing things…
thanks for the giveaway!
whitewolfreads AT gmail DOT com
The closest thing to a run-in with animals for me would be with the pigeons that love to hang around the bus loop at my university campus. Seriously, there are so many of them just hanging around, not scared of people at all. So sometimes when walking by, a pigeon or two can just walk directly into your path. I’m always scared of accidentally kicking them or something. I’ve also seen a pigeon once get trapped inside of a building, where it had to be ushered or shoo-ed back outside.
chibipooh(at)gmail(dot)com
I went horseback riding in the summer and the big guy decided he wanted to roll around in some mud to cool off…with me still on him. Not fun.
jcross719 at yahoo dot com
Thanks for the giveaway!
Sophia — I hadn’t thought of that. That would be a long way down.
Stephanie — That would have freaked me out.
Whitewolf — Pets really do brighten your life.
Winnie — Yeah, pigeons never seem to be afraid of anything. Squirrels either, especially in places where there are lots of trees and people around at the same time.
Jessica — Oh my! That would be very scary.
No run ins with a llama… Animals…hmm Other than birds pooping on me, I’ve been pretty lucky!
I remember one time when I took a picture with a boa constrictor as a teen. I liked the snake and held him nicely and was enjoying petting him. There was no problem until it came time for the man who owned him to pass him on to the next picture taker. The boa decided he liked being on me and was not moving. Not only did he wrap around me but he bared his teeth at anyone else who tried to touch him. In the end someone had to throw a towel over his head and then wrestle or unwrap him from me.
@LadyVampire: omg I would have died of a heart attack! Then again, I am a wussie and would not have posed with the snake in the first place. LOL.
Natasha — Ugh! I would consider that a run-in.
Lady Vampire — That would have totally freaked me out!
No llama spit, but when I was a teen we went camping and during an afternoon nap we woke to find a raccoon in the tent with us stealing an entire package of hamburger buns. We were very still, since we didn’t know if it would bite and give us rabies, and he got his buns and ran.
meredithfl at gmail dot com
Unfortunately I have never seen a llama, but I did have a ferret poop on my head after I gave it some treats. I guess he didn’t like the treats too much
A llama never spit in my hair, but one did spit in my Grandma’s face when I was little. My family had taken me to the zoo for the day…I think I was 5.
heatwave96(at)hotmail.com
No lamas, although I did have a childhood friend whose mother raised them.
I broke my collarbone getting thrown from a horse if that counts.
I had a cat try to smother me in my sleep! I swear she was possessed. Always hissing and clawing things. She freaked out if anyone tried to pet her but she loved my grandmother.